You know you're at the doctor in west texas when.....

I went to the doctor today.

The "lady doctor".

And, I would normally NEVER blog about such an event, but I had to pass along some very important information I learned.

Unfortunately, this doctor didn't have much reading material in the exam room unless I wanted to read about gonorrhea (side note--when my brother was in middle school, he got sent to his room during dinner for saying "gonorrhea" at the dinner table and then laughing like a school girl) (another side note--we still laugh like school girls when we talk about this).

Anyway, before the nurse left the room, she handed me a little pamphlet of "health maintenance" tips and I opted to read it over gonorrhea symptoms.

Here are the tips. Let me know when you think this takes a left-turn. One of these things is not like the other.

1. Perform self breast exams every month.
2. Mammograms every year after the age of 40.
3. Colonoscopy every 10 years after the age of 50.
4. Excercise at least 3 times per week.
5. Try to limit diet to 1800 calories or less.
6. Low salt, low fat, low cholesterol diet.
7. Calcium supplements to help with bone mass.
8. Yearly dental exams.
9. Yearly eye exams.
10. Lock guns up and separate from shells.
11. No smoking.
12. Folic Acid and Prenatal Vitamins for pregnancy.

Hmmmm.....my big-city doctor never warned me of the dangers of tip #10.